When trying to score some points with the boss, almost everyone has tried to do a little bit of kissing up. But the problem with sucking up is that you don't want to lay it on too thick, because no one likes the person who is obviously a fake.
But, if your goal for the new year is to kiss up to your boss more effectively, have no fear. There is some new research from Northwestern University and the University of Michigan that shows that while overt flattery almost always fails, there are ways to kiss up correctly.
To do their research, they specifically took a look at people who used flattery in order to win seats in the boardroom. Their results were a bit surprising and can be used as a guide to help you get on your boss's good side. Here are some of their tips:
- Make it sound uncomfortable – Before you lay on some outrageous flattery, try prefacing it with something like “I don't want to embarrass you, but...”
- Make it into a question – Ask for their advice on a subject because you know that they are so good at it. Asking someone for their advice is just as flattering as giving them a direct compliment, but it doesn't have the same risk of sounding insincere.
- Mix it up – It is a known fact that no one respects a “yes man”. So, don't agree with your boss right off the bat. First disagree, and let them sway you into agreeing with them. So, instead of being a “yes man”, be a “no then yes man”.
- Suck up by proxy – Find someone who is close to your boss, say, a friend or colleague. When you talk to them, tell them how amazing your boss is and how much you respect them. This information will most certainly be passed on and your compliments will seem more sincere.
- Find common ground – Discuss topics that you think matter to your boss and agree with them on the subjects. When they think that you share similar values, it will make you other flattery feel more sincere.
- Join their club – Find out which organizations your boss is a member of and join them too. This will give you something in common and make you seem more like a peer rather than a subordinate.
According to the study, the best people for flattery are those involved in law, politics and sales. But, across all career fields, it seemed that the people who come from more upper-class families were much more skilled at the fine arts of kissing up. Which shouldn't come as any surprise. But, if you weren't born to the game, there is no reason why you can't learn to play it like a pro.
What are the most effective ways you have found to kiss up to a boss? Let me know in the comments.
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By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer, along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.
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