When Nice is Too Nice Part 3: Apologizers

Continuing with our exploration of types of nice guys who finish last (Part 1, Part 2) we have to take a look at what it means to be an apologizer. This type of nice guy might think he’s being polite but instead he is so sorry for everything that he appears pathetic instead of apologetic. There’s no way he’s going to walk away with the job and he’ll probably be the one to apologize for it.

If you think you may be an apologizer make a tally of how many times you say you’re sorry each day then think if they were really necessary. Did you bump into someone? Sure, go ahead and say it but don’t apologize if someone cuts in front of you in line.

You’ll sabotage yourself if you start a conversation by saying you’re sorry. Don’t feel bad for calling up to set an appointment or inquire about an ad. Never say, “I’m sorry to bother you but…” just jump right in to the conversation and you’ll seem more confident.

Don’t be sorry for your own opinion either. When asked what you think there’s no wrong answer so you don’t need to feel bad for answering honestly even if you don’t think it’s what they want to hear. Keep in mind constructive criticism is better that complaining. Be forthcoming in your critique and offer ideas on how to improve problem spots instead of apologizing for how you feel and your boss will appreciate your candor.

You don’t need to brag about going above and beyond but you don’t need to apologize either. Sometimes you have to stay late or put in some extra effort to get the job done right. It’s not that you’re trying to show off or suck up it’s just what needs to be done period, no sorry necessary.

Above all don’t apologize for other people unless they are your children. Former bosses and coworkers are responsible for their own actions and you don’t need to take responsibility for them. Own up to what you’ve done, good or bad, and state how it affects the way you plan on doing things in the future. I’m sure you’ve made enough mistakes you don’t need to take on anyone else’s faults as your own.

There are some instances when a genuine sincere apology is absolutely necessary and in those cases you’d better make it count. During the day to day however you don’t need to unnecessarily excuse yourself for something that is perfectly acceptable or completely out of your control.


By Heather Fairchild - Heather is a multimedia developer with experience in web, film, photography and animation as well as traditional fine arts like painting and sculpting. In addition to writing for RetailGigsBlog.com, she is co-founder of design and promotion company. Heather’s spare time consists of making puppets, teaching Sunday School, building Legos and doing science experiments with her children.